


At the Christmas Party Hop

by speccygeekgrrl



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Bonehead Christmas party, Christmas Party, Gen, Mistletoe, everybody gets a moment to shine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 06:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13025532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl
Summary: The annual Bonehead Christmas party is under new management after last year's fiasco. Gabby's trying to get everything to run as smoothly as possible for everyone. All she wants is for everyone to have a good time-- including herself, if possible.





	At the Christmas Party Hop

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Preventative Measures](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12199731) by [speccygeekgrrl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl). 



> I promised the Discord I'd write a Bonehead party fic and here it is! 
> 
> Ray, Jay, Spam, Amanda, and Reggie belong to SmitsHappens. Cal and BJ belong to Feenie. Ed belongs to the-technicolor-whiscash. Cherry belongs to heyhayley. Sandwich belongs to TwoDayShipping. Gabby is mine.
> 
> This sort of refers back to Smitshappens' fic Ray and my fic Preventative Measures but I don't think they're required reading (who am I kidding, you should read them anyways).
> 
> This is a teensy bit self-indulgent, but... literally everything I write is self-indulgent so no one is surprised by this.

“This is enough mistletoe, right?” Gabby asked, hands on her hips as she surveyed a room that would very shortly be filled to the brim with increasingly drunk folks for the Moon 13 Christmas party.

“It’s more than enough mistletoe,” Amanda said, stepping off the stool she’d needed to stick the last piece up. “A gratuitous amount of mistletoe. An absurd amount.”

“Yeah, and you totally didn’t strategically locate any of it,” Gabby said dryly. “We have the buttons by the door, right?”

“Red for no contact, white for hugs and cheek kisses, green for pucker up,” Reggie chirped. “I’ll keep an eye out to make sure people behave.”

“Everything else in place?” Gabby asked. 

“We’re waiting on Ed to bring the sweet stuff, but the savory’s laid out and Cherry’s got most of her soldiers in neat ranks waiting to be killed,” Jay said. “I think she went back to get the Lunarover. The eggnog is on ice, and we’ve got soda for the teetotalers who aren’t into that.” 

“Where’s Cal? We need the music going when people start to arrive.”

“He volunteered to help Ed,” Amanda said. “But his stuff’s all set up.”

“Okay, good.” Gabby cast one more slow look around the room, nodded firmly, put on her reindeer antler headband, and pinned a white button to the shoulder of her Mrs. Claus dress. “Let’s hope this year goes better than last year.” Last year had been… kind of a mess. Too many people got too drunk, some folks got handsy where they shouldn’t have, some people couldn’t make eye contact with some other people for a few weeks afterwards. Gabby had relieved Allen of party planning duties before New Year’s rolled around and had formed a committee of her own to improve everyone’s enjoyment of the holiday-themed gatherings. She wasn’t good at the party planning side, but she was very good at delegation and Jay was very good at parties. Sure, more people were involved now, but every individual piece of the party would be better for the increased attention. She hoped.

A minute later, Ed and Cal came through the door rolling two carts from the kitchens that were practically groaning under the weight of the extravagant desserts Ed had whipped up. 

“Are those mice made of chocolate? They’re too cute to eat,” Amanda said as she helped move trays from the cart to the tables set along one wall. 

“Speak for yourself,” Jay said. “Cute things taste better, too.”

“Everything’s labeled,” Ed pointed out, flicking a tag at the front of one tray with one finger. “No more repeats of the tiramisu incident.” Cal shuddered at the mention of it and went over to the sound setup shaking his head. 

“I think that deserves a stronger word than ‘incident’,” Gabby said. “‘Fiasco,’ maybe?”

“You know what’s going to be a fiasco,” Reggie said. “All this mistletoe hung up, if Kinga and Max are both showing for this.”

“As if Kinga would let _anyone_ touch her,” Amanda scoffed. “Red button, no doubt about it.”

“Everyone’s button will be respected or we will throw people out,” Gabby said firmly. “No exceptions. Inebriation is no excuse.” _Pathetic crushes are also no excuse_ , she told herself firmly, doing an incredibly poor job of pretending that she wasn’t very concerned with one specific person’s choice of button. “All right, I think we’re set. Someone hit the lights.” They’d lined the room several times over with white string lights, and when Reggie hit the overheads they provided the perfect amount of illumination for a casual party, not bright by any means but bright enough that observant eyes wouldn’t miss anything they needed to see. 

“Make way for booze!” Spam’s voice preceded the rattle of another cart that Cherry pushed in, followed immediately by Ray and Jonah each laden with a crate of bottles. Ray was chiming with every step from the jingle bells sewed to his ugly Christmas sweater, and his antler headband came from the same batch that Gabby’s had.

“Almost forgot the Grimdark,” Cherry said. “Max wouldn’t forgive me.”

“Max isn’t going to forgive _me_ when he finds out I set a limit for the humans,” Gabby said. “And _you_ \--” She poked Jonah and Ray in the chests when they set their crates down. “ _You_ are both on my watch list after what happened last time.”

“Aw, c’mon Gabby…” Ray gave her the puppy dog eyes and she crossed her arms and gave him a skeptical look.

“You were so hungover that you had a two day headache! This is for your own good, kid.”

“I would argue, but I never want to go through that again in my life,” Jonah said. “Is the eggnog spiked?”

“Certainly not,” Amanda said. “Which isn’t to say you can’t spike your own.”

“No, this is good. Pandabro, you _have_ to try this.” 

“Ah-ah-ah, before you try anything you have to get your mistletoe buttons,” Reggie said. “If you’ll note the handy-dandy chart…” Both of the twins reached for green buttons immediately, and Amanda’s eyes lit up. “Brave souls, venture forth.”

“Okay, _now_ you need eggnog.” Ray sniffed the cup Jonah handed him a little suspiciously, but when he tasted it his brows shot up.

“This is _awesome_!” He was on his second cup very shortly. Gabby silently congratulated herself for staying firm about it being non-alcoholic. She knew the twins would probably still end up with hangovers, but not the life-ruiningly horrific ones they’d had after the last party, at least.

The party was set to start at 7pm. By 7:30, the room was crowded full of party-mode Boneheads and three humans in varying stages of party mode. Neither Ray nor Jonah seemed to realize how deliberately they were being steered under the mistletoe on the dance floor by more than a few people, even if almost no one wearing a white button could actually reach their cheeks to kiss without tugging them down for it. Ray preempted the need to be steered after he pulled one piece of mistletoe off the ceiling and tied it onto his reindeer antlers instead, more than happy to smooch anyone who came near him wearing a green button, including Jonah, much to Jonah’s surprise and several people around them’s delight. He also gave many, many hugs to white-buttoned folks, more than a couple of whom came back for seconds (and thirds, and fourths).

Kinga had predictably gone for the red button, but her standoffish posture relaxed a bit after she visited Cherry’s brew station, and she went up to Cal to make a song request after her second drink. No one was about to make fun of the boss lady’s awkward dance style to Jingle Bell Rock, and even fewer people were going to stand in her way when she snagged Jonah by the collar of his shirt and led him right under some mistletoe to steal a kiss of her own volition, even if Jonah did turn bright red when she pinched his butt. Gabby started keeping a much closer eye on Kinga after she caught that, but it seemed like Jonah was the only one Kinga was interested in stalking, to exactly no one’s surprise.

She was keeping an eye on all the humans anyways, slightly more than the eye she was keeping on the party at large, and also keeping a deliberate distance from Max after she saw him pin a hopeful green button to his snowman sweater. The last thing she wanted to do was come across as desperate. She knew full well that she cared too much about him, but she was pretty sure he didn’t know it yet. After Kinga snagged Jonah on the dance floor, Max started lingering by the dessert table, very deliberately not looking toward that side of the room, and Gabby swung past to overhear him discussing tasting pairings with Ed and Cherry and taking splashes of whatever they suggested go with what he wanted to try. She had a feeling it was a sneaky way of subverting her imposed drink limits, but what the hell, she wasn’t going to stop them when she was planning to take advantage of whatever the three of them figured out as far as pairings went.

“Do _not_ mix those,” Ed yelped, and Max stopped short with his hand three quarters of the way to a bottle of Lunarover. “Don’t mix that with _anything_ I made. That goes with salty snacks only.”

“What goes with eggnog?” Sandwich asked as she inserted herself into the conversation, one hand wrapped around a cup of it and the other hand hovering indecisively over the dessert table. “Please say all of it.” Her Halloween sweater stood out in the room full of (mostly ugly) Christmas sweaters and festive accessories, and closer inspection revealed her earrings to be tiny bloodstained daggers. Gabby might have been concerned, if she didn’t already spend most of her work hours with Sandwich, but the kid was okay, just a little too salty for the Christmas spirit.

“Not all of it,” Ed said, and Sandwich made a disappointed sound. “But almost all of it. Here, try this one…” He handed her a sugar-dusted soft gingersnap. “I candied the ginger myself.”

“Holy cats,” Sandwich said when she took a bite, eyes going wide. “It bites back!” Max stole one of the gingersnaps off the tray and nibbled it thoughtfully, and his eyes went wide too.

“What does this go with besides eggnog?” he asked. Cherry put a finger to her lips, thinking about it for a moment, and then lifted a bottle to offer him another splash.

“Bone Orchard,” she said. “Ginger and apple pair well.”

“What’s this?” Sandwich asked, pointing at the partially demolished tray of mousse mice.

“It’s a dark chocolate shell filled with milk chocolate mousse,” Ed said. 

“Sold,” Sandwich chirped, liberating one and chomping its head off immediately. “Mm, s’good.”

“Thank you,” Ed said, looking pleased. “They were finicky to make.” BJ came over and reached around Sandwich to grab a mouse, and Sandwich gave him an elbow to the spleen and a pointed glance down at her red button.

“Sorry!” BJ yelped. “My bad. No offense. Not a hug, unintended.”

“Right,” Sandwich said. “No problem.” She moved a little more to the side of the table so she could keep picking at the sweets without being encroached on by anyone else. BJ gingerly nibbled on his mouse.

“You were doing flavor matching? What’s good with this?”

“Definitely the Grimdark,” Cherry said, pouring him a cup. “Wine and chocolate, can’t beat it.” Max held his cup out for a splash, lowering it slightly when Gabby came up next to him.

“I’m behaving,” he said defensively, and she smiled. 

“I’m not checking up on you,” she lied. “I just wanted to try the wine and chocolate. Even I get to unwind tonight.” He took a step to the side so she could reach the mice, and she leaned against him subtly as she reached past him. “What’s good?”

“Everything,” Max said immediately. “Ed is a virtuoso, this is all amazing.” Ed beamed at the praise.

“It was a lot of work, but worth it,” he said. “Especially with Cherry pairing everything so well.”

“Team effort,” Cherry said, handing Gabby a cup of the Grimdark. “Good thing we’re both phenomenal at what we do, right?”

“Hear hear,” Gabby said, lifting her cup in salute. “Here’s to the talented ones.” Cups clinked and drinks were swigged by everyone around the table who had one in hand. 

“What about the mediocre ones?” Max muttered, and Gabby looked around exaggeratedly.

“I don’t see anyone mediocre here,” she said. “Just a lot of amazing people with a lot of varied and awesome talents.”

“That’s rude, I’m standing right here,” he said, and she pursed her lips at him.

“You’re not mediocre, Max. You might not ascribe value to what you do, but the rest of us do. After all, you are the first one most of us saw after being created.”

“...oh. I guess so.” 

“You’re all right,” BJ said, clapping Max on the shoulder. “Better you than Kinga, right?”

“Terror isn’t the right foot to start an existence on,” Max said. “We figured that out pretty quickly.”

“You helped me pick out my name,” Gabby reminded him. “You helped more than a few of us like that, honestly.” She nibbled on her mouse and made a blissful sound. “Jeez, Ed, how do you _do_ it? It’s like magic.”

“It’s definitely not magic,” Ed said. “It’s a lot of hard work.”

“You’re astonishing for putting the work in, then. Absolutely fantastic.” She sucked the chocolate off her fingers when she finished it, trying not to smirk at the way Max almost certainly didn’t realize he was staring. “Great job, guys. It’s all so good.” Someone tapped her shoulder, and she turned to find Reggie frowning in the direction of the dance floor.

“I think we need an eviction,” he said, and Gabby sighed and pitched her empty cup in the trash.

“What’s wrong?”

“We have a serial butt-pincher on the loose.”

“Do we know who it is?”

“Yeah. It’s Ollie.”

“Color me surprised,” Gabby said, rolling her eyes. “You’d think he’d have learned his lesson after he got his wrist broken for him.”

“Pinching is an ambidextrous activity, apparently.” They wound their way through the dancers just in time to see the pincher in question get slapped in the face by a red-buttoned lady Bonehead in a Santa hat. He was still reeling from the slap when Gabby walked up to him and poked him forcefully in the middle of the chest.

“I saw that. You know the rules, affirmative consent before contact, always. You’re done. Leave.”

“Ahhh, c’mon, no harm done.” 

“You can leave, or I can have you escorted out. I’m pretty sure that Stan and Jack would be willing to carry you out if they knew you were getting pinchy. You want to walk out, or you want to be dumped in a heap at your door?” Ollie swallowed visibly at the mention of the burliest Boneheads on the Moon, casting a glance around the room to find out how far he was from them. 

“I’ll uh, I’ll just go… Can I get a drink for the road?”

“Not a chance. You fucked up, you don’t get rewarded. And Ollie… you _will_ be hearing from me tomorrow.” Gabby was one of the shortest Boneheads, but when she glared he quailed like she towered over him. “Now get out.” Reggie followed him to make sure he did as he was told, and Gabby cut through the dance floor to check in with Cal, who waved at her as she came up to him.

“Hark, the angel Gabby-riel! Got a song request?” 

“Play me some Bowie and I’ll love you forever,” she said. Cal grinned widely and tapped at the computer he was DJing through to queue something up. “How’s things looking from here?”

“Seems like everyone’s having fun from what little I can see. Kinda wish I could hit the snack table, but I don’t think leaving this unguarded is a good idea.”

“Oh, go on, I’ll hold down the fort. Try the mousse mouse, it’s so good.” 

“You rock. I’ll be right back.” They were both short; he was lost in the crowd almost immediately. Gabby wasn’t about to mess with the computer, so she spent the minutes she was on guard surveying the party. The Hestons were easy to find as ever, head and shoulders above almost everyone in the room, although Ray kept ducking to deliver smooches. Kinga had not relinquished her claim on Jonah, although the test subject seemed to be taking his co-opting with his usual good humor. 

Baby It’s Cold Outside ended, and Gabby facepalmed when she found out which song Cal had chosen to fill her request. _You remind me of the babe…_ Not the Bowie she’d been expecting, although she probably should have, given Cal’s well-known proclivity for musicals.

“What babe?” Quite a few voices chimed in, and she laughed and tossed herself into the dancing as soon as Cal came back with a plate full of treats for himself. She wasn’t about to miss out on collecting a hug from Ray, after all, and he swept her up and off her feet with a cheer when she got to him.

“Gabby, Christmas is _awesome_!” 

“I had a feeling you’d love it,” she said brightly. “Enjoying yourself?”

“ _So much_!” She was glad to see him so happy. She’d seen him unhappy and the less of that he went through the better. He seemed like he was having the time of his life, though. She kissed him on the cheek before he set her back down, and by the end of the song she’d made it back to the periphery of the room, on the watch once more.

Aside from the one butt-pincher and a couple of overambitious drinkers, though, there wasn’t much for Gabby to do as far as keeping people behaving well went. The button system seemed to be working, and a few of the hanging pieces of mistletoe found themselves occupied by some rather determined couples, but the overambitious decorating had left plenty of places for less devoted persons to acquire kisses in passing. When she caught sight of Max lingering underneath a sprig, she circled around to approach him from the side, getting him to startle when she nudged him with her elbow.

“Having fun?” she asked, and he hesitated a second before nodding.

“More than last year,” he said, and she snorted. That wasn’t a high bar to clear for most anyone there. “What about you? Is it less fun because you’re in charge of it?”

“I’m having a grand time,” she said. “It helps that I haven’t had to kick many people out tonight.”

“There’s always a couple of folks.”

“Tell me about it,” she said, rolling her eyes, and then she followed the motion with her head to look up. “Oh…” He looked up too, and then looked at her uncertainly. She didn’t buy that he didn’t know he’d been standing under it. She wondered if he bought that she hadn’t seen it before she walked over. His eyes widened when she put a hand on his cheek, then screwed shut when she leaned in and pressed her lips against his. He tasted like gingersnaps and Bone Orchard and she lingered probably a little longer than she should have.

“Oh…” He was bright pink when she opened her eyes. “But your button…”

“You’re worth making an exception for,” she said softly, and he blushed a little darker. “You can definitely give me a hug, though.” He didn’t need more encouragement than that to wrap his arms around her, and she sighed softly and leaned into him, her arms sliding around his waist. She’d been hugged many times since the party began, but this was the hug she’d been waiting for, and it was even better than she’d hoped it would be. Someone wolf-whistled, and she lifted one middle finger high, not looking up from where she’d tucked her face against the side of his neck. 

“You give good hugs,” he said, very close to her ear, and she squeezed him a little tighter.

“Yeah, so do you.”

“Get a room!” Gabby’s head popped up and she laser focused on the person who’d said it. 

“I know your voice, BJ!” BJ’s eyes widened and he disappeared into the dance floor, and Gabby dropped her head to Max’s shoulder, laughing. “What a jerk.”

“He’s just jealous,” Max said. “You are very pretty, after all.” She lifted her head, brows arched.

“You think so?”

“I mean, I can’t be the only one who thinks it. Everyone likes you, you know.” 

“That’s not because I’m pretty, that’s because I’m useful,” she said. “And most everyone knows better than to get on my bad side by now.”

“Fear is as effective a motivator as love,” he said, and she shook her head.

“It might be effective but it’s not preferable. Kinga rules with fear and she’s got less than a clue about most of what’s going on around here. But I know everything about everyone.”

“Not everything,” he said.

“Close enough to everything.” His lips quirked up slightly.

“Gabby… a few weeks ago, when you said someone likes me…” He hesitated a little. “Did you mean you?”

“I was wondering if you’d figure that out,” she said, and she would have let go of him except he didn’t let go of her. “I don’t tell other people’s secrets.”

“Yeah, once I remembered that I clued in.”

“You don’t mind, do you?”

“ _Mind_?” He let out a disbelieving laugh. “No, I don’t mind. I just don’t know what to do about someone doing more than just tolerating me, I guess.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” she said with a shrug. 

“But I’d like to,” he said earnestly, and she couldn’t help grinning. 

“You could start by kissing me back,” she suggested hopefully.

Yeah, the party had a ways to go yet, and yeah, her job wasn’t over for the night. But she thought she could spare a few more minutes under the mistletoe with Max. Just until someone needed her attention… even if her attention would be very hard to get.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Three Ruined Dates and One Date That Wasn't A Total Disaster](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13451061) by [speccygeekgrrl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl)




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